The Rock n' Roll Hall of Bullsh*t (part 2)
Before reading, you must know this. I care a lot about this. I shouldn't, but I do.
In the original incarnation of my blog I wrote an entry detailing the performers that should be in the Rn'R HoF (but weren't). I must admit that I didn't think I had that much influence, but many of the people/groups I highlighted ended up getting inducted. Deep Purple, Def Leppard, Dire Straits, the Cars, Bon Jovi, Yes, Journey, Steve Miller, Electric Light Orchestra, Chicago, Joan Jett, Rush, Cheap Trick, Alice Cooper, and Kiss are among the acts I mentioned. I'm a little annoyed none of them chose to thank me during their acceptance speeches, but that's the way it goes. Still, a little gratitude would be appreciated.
My main problem with the HoF back then remains the same now. A small group of musical executives who believe that they know more than the rest of us plebeians. They appointed themselves gatekeepers of the Hall, because of their superior 'taste'. And because they all have similar opinions, certain worthwhile genres of rock and certain performers have been continuously ignored. It's this ghettoisation of different musical genres that's so galling. A music that was born out of a desire to challenge the strict societal norms of mid century America, is now being evaluated by the establishment is a perverse irony indeed. Unsurprisingly, many of this group of executives are rich white men. (privilege, much?) It has gotten a little better in the last decade (see the list of bands from above), but there are still too many rock n' roll artists that continue to be omitted from consideration. Bottom line? Don't trust anyone's opinion on rock n' roll if they're wearing a tuxedo.
Listen: Any type of art is inherently resistant to objective criteria that is used to determine 'good' from 'bad', including music and especially rock n' roll. What I like you may hate. What you love, I may loathe. Who's right? I don't know, but if it puts a smile on your face, a tap in your shoe, or some boogie in your butt, who cares. Rock n' roll is designed to provoke a reaction. The best of it demands it. Anger, joy, happiness, peace of mind, thoughtfulness, movement, bliss, etc. It doesn't matter which.
And in that spirit, I offer my revised list (in no particular order), of performers of who should be in, but aren't; because the powers that be continue to have their heads up their asses.
1. Iron Maiden The HoF committee hates, Hates, HATES hard rock and heavy metal. More than any other genre of rock, it has been slagged and criticised by those 'experts' I discussed above. The genre is often lyrically simple-minded, tainted by sexism, and the worst of the "sex, drugs, and rock n' roll" mentality. But not always. At its best, it is fist-pumpingly exciting, empowering, and the most cathartic brand of music I know. That's these guys. Their music is exhilarating, powerful and lyrically intelligent. They are still creating vital new music and touring behind it. Their rhythm section is exceptionally propulsive (I absolutely love their bass sound). Over the past 40 years they have arguably been the most popular band in the entire world.
2. Judas Priest With these guys, I need to digress a bit. Before Kiss was admitted, one of the biggest criticisms against them was that they were average musicians who wrote simple-minded songs. While that is, in fact, true; it completely disregards an evaluation of their image. My point being that, in rock n' roll, it is impossible to disregard a band's image when evaluating their HoF credentials. In their case, I contend that Kiss concocted one of the most successful images in music history. In rock n' roll, image may not be everything, but it definitely counts.
Judas Priest is probably the closest thing to a real "Spinal Tap" band when it comes to image. The leather! The metal spikes! The Harleys! It is, I admit, a little laughable. It would be hysterical if the music wasn't any good. Just like Maiden above, their music exemplifies the best of the heavy metal genre. It is both exhilarating and powerful. Rob Halford has a crazy vocal range, and they are rightfully praised for the twin lead guitar sound they helped develop. Their lyrics might be a tad simple-minded, but not in the sexist, 'my cock is the biggest' kind of way. They are also still creating and touring behind new and relevant music. They also deserve praise for defending themselves in court over the issue of "back-masking". (The ludicrous notion that artists conspire with Satan to put backward, 'evil' messages in their songs). Also, kudos to Rob Halford for coming out publicly as a gay man back in 1998 - a potentially career ending move at the time.
3. Anthrax 4. Megadeth 5. Slayer In thrash metal, a sub-genre of which Metallica is the undisputed king, they talk of "The big 4". I'm not sure if these three bands deserve to be in the Rn'R HoF; but much like the metal genre in general, it sure would be nice to hear them be a part of the conversation.
6. Thin Lizzy Maybe if Phil Lynott, the bass player and lead writer for this band, had lived, they might have a larger, more appreciative audience than they do. But he died young, and their legacy has been diminished. But in the 1970s, there was not a more exciting hard rock band creating music. Lynott's writing style was unique and provocative. Listening to them is surprising fun both because of their musical and lyrical inventiveness. They had two lead guitarists, who often played in tandem with one another - a melodic tour-de-force in one song after another. It is a singularly unique sound.
7. Motley Crue There is a lot to dislike about this band. Their music is not very sophisticated, and the lyrics are full of the worst "cock rock" cliches. Their 'celebrated' hedonism is moronically celebrated. (Seriously, all four of them should probably be dead at this point.) And, in truth, I believe Vince Neil is nothing but an over-rated, helium voiced hack. But despite all that the rest of the band has managed to put together a fairly impressive resume. Their rhythm section is propulsive and works incredibly well in getting their music across. And... they have survived and thrived for a ridiculously long time.
Longevity, in and of itself, should not equal admission to the HoF, but it is worth considering. In a notoriously fickle business, Motley Crue have sustained a strong following for decades. They emerged out of a crowded, cut-throat, early 1980's Sunset Strip environment in a way none of their peers did. Their image has evolved over the years, but it has consistently embraced rock n' roll excess in a genuinely believable way. They might be laughable, but they're also true believers. And I think that counts for something.
8. the Doobie Brothers 9. the J. Geils Band I mean, just, c'mon.
10. Meatloaf The critics also love to hate the baroque song writing style of Jim Steinman (the individual who wrote Meat's biggest hits). His songs are lyrically and musically way over the top (part of their charm, actually). As a result, Meatloaf has spent his entire career being under appreciated by the musical press. He's been treated as a joke. Some of this is self-inflicted. He does have a propensity for sounding like a self-important jackass; and acting out the lyrics to "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" in your 60s does invite a certain amount of ridicule.
But dammit, I like it. A lot. And so do a lot of other people around the world. Did you know that "Bat Out of Hell" is one of the best selling albums of all time? And that image. Even if it's ridiculous - that's rock n' roll!
11. Jethro Tull A sycophantic album review written by a member of a band's fan club is worthless. Everything can't be, "The greatest thing they've ever recorded." But even worse is the reviewer who actively dislikes a band. They will spend their reviews explaining to you why some artist is terrible (and perhaps unintendedly, why anyone who likes this artist is stupid, as well). I have a great deal of antipathy towards people who, when they express their opinion, insult people who might have an alternative opinion. Critics that insult an artist's audience in such a way suck.
This is where Jethro Tull comes in. The critics hated this band, and delighted in ridiculing them as pretentious and boring. Except Tull had a huge audience who didn't care what the critics said. They sold a lot of music, entertained a lot of people, and put together a vast collection of memorable songs that are still easily identified as Jethro Tull music. It doesn't hurt that Ian Anderson is singularly known for introducing the flute into the vernacular of rock n' roll. (Note: If you are known as the "singular" of anything in rock n' roll, you're in the HoF).
12. REO Speedwagon 13. Styx 14. Foreigner All that these three bands have done is sell millions of records and entertained millions of fans for over 40 years. The knock on them, I suppose, is that their music is too simplistic or generic. Well, pardon me (and millions of others), for enjoying simplistic drivel. Seriously, what's wrong with entertaining your audience and making them happy? Also, there are many bands from the 70's and 80's that were contemporaries of these bands that haven't survived; which, to me, implies that these three bands had something a little bit special about them. Finally, if Bon Jovi and Journey are in...
15. Slade This band was insanely huge across the pond, but not so much here in America. They specialized in plugging in and playing infectious party music very loudly. Here's why they should be in: The Velvet Underground is one of those bands that the 'critics' love to love. They weren't terribly popular in their day, and their albums didn't sell; but they are considered to have been hugely influential. To paraphrase "their album maybe only sold 2,000 copies, but everyone of the people that bought it started a band of their own." I'm not a huge fan of the band, but I can accept the logic which dictated their enshrinement in the HoF.
Now to Slade. Power Pop is one the most perfect forms of music in existence. In general, the songs have the infectious quality of a pop song but played with rock instrumentation. The godfathers of the genre are Cheap Trick. In any event, Slade didn't sell very much music or receive a lot of attention during their heyday; but according to many, many musicians that came of age after them, they were a huge influence. If VU gets in by playing the influence card, then so does Slade.
16. Michael Stanley Band OK, MSB should probably not be in the HoF. But in my mind, they are biggest 'woulda, coulda, shoulda' band in rock n' roll history, so I don't want to pass up this opportunity to bring them to your attention. They have a nearly two decade long discography of skillful and listenable pop rock, but they never seemed to catch a break. Look them up - you won't be disappointed.
17. Warren Zevon Rock n' Roll's poet laureate. His continued exclusion is shameful.
18. Ian Hunter Once upon a time there was a group named Mott the Hoople. They were around in the late 60s and early 70s. They were very good and I could almost make a case for them to be in the HoF. Their lead singer and songwriter was Ian Hunter. All he has done for the last 45 years is continue to be a peerless songwriter and rocker. He is almost 80, and he is still recording new music and going out on tour and rocking out. He is a true elder statesman of rock n' roll who is looked up to be many of today's rock and roll performers. He also has great hair and sun glasses.
19. Badfinger & 20. the Raspberries These last two groups both suffered from bad luck, bad timing, inner strife, and in Badfinger's case criminal mismanagement. They were both active in the early 70s, and I've always felt that if the Beatles had continued to record together, these two bands give us an idea of what they would have sounded like. Beautiful pop melodies, with just a bit of electric guitar. Who knows what Badfinger would have come up with next, but when their manager took all their money and ran, their lead singer and songwriter took his own life. In the Raspberries case, they couldn't survive internal strive and the changing tide of popular music.
For all of these groups, I urge you to look into them if they are new to you. You'll be glad you did. I'll see you in 10 years for my next list.
