A Profound Truth
Did you ever notice how, sometimes profound truths just drop into your head fully formed? That just happened to me about ten minutes ago. I've been letting it rattle around my brain while I consider its ramifications upon my life moving forward. "I dunno," is my honest appraisal thus far. But the other part of it - the part where it dropped into my head fully formed? - I'm not sure I quite belief that. Instead, I think of an artist, who, while working on a piece of work significant to them, stops, assesses, and suddenly realizes their artwork is perfect just the way it is. In other words, the "truth" that just dropped is something I've been working on for awhile, and something happened (a piece of conversation over lunch), which tweaked my thinking in just the right way. Kinda like the scene in a heist movie when the final tumbler on the vault falls into place, and the door to the treasure inside swings open.
"I'm a great acquaintance, but a lousy friend,"
That was the thought that occurred to me. I could spend three or four paragraphs explaining why that's true, but I frankly don't want to. You don't want to read it either, trust me. It would just be a bunch of psychological goobledygook specific to me. Boring.
However, and more importantly, understanding that this is my current reality has a great deal to do with how I experience depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria. (Psssst: "Not well" is the answer.) But it also gives me a fairly substantial starting point moving forward, based upon the (correct) assumption that I want to change this particular dynamic.
Wish me luck.
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