How Was Your Week? (Well... Shit)
This was already going to be tough. Ten years ago, on 2/14/16, my wife Rebecca died. Always a fun day to celebrate, the fact that the number "10" was involved promised a little extra kick to the solar plexus of my soul.
Then there's my two daughters. This is not the place to tell their stories, but both are currently facing challenging life circumstances that leave me feeling impotently sidelined, struggling to figure out the best, if any, way to help them out.
Finally, issues relating to my mother in her twilight forced themselves to the front of the line. How to succinctly sum up multi-generational family dysfunction? Hmmm. Imagine me as Charlie Brown, and the rest of my family as Lucy. Let's label the football "another attempt at difficult (but honest) communication." Get the picture? I really should know better by this point, but once again my attempts to... [I honestly don't know what word to use. I suppose in a naive sense "help" works best] ...left me the one emotionally wounded.
All while our fascist president and his thugs invade my state inciting unconstitutional mayhem, hatred, violence, injury, fear, and death.
Ten years ago I watched my wife die and there was nothing I could do. My adult children are facing struggles and I'm powerless to keep them safe from the accompanying slings and arrows. I try to empower my mother face the end of her life the way she chooses, and once again the football gets pulled away just as I try to kick it. All while I chastize myself for being too fearful to actively resist demagoguery.
That's been my week.
PS: Incidentally, I'm systematically starving myself to the point of wondering if I might pass out every time I stand up.
fun times, huh?
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