Number 47

TMI (rated R)

Proceed with caution.

If you're squeamish, stop now - you've been warned.

If you're still reading, it's your own fault.

I'm not kidding.

I'm serious.



Today, I had my ass lasered. For real.

It makes sense, actually, when you think about; but it does require you to be aware of some facts that are not yet in evidence. The first of these is that I, a trans woman, am hoping to have what is euphemistically referred to as "bottom surgery" sometime in the near future. More technically, it is called vaginoplasty. Briefly, it is the removal of testicles and the fashioning of a vagina using the skin of the penis and scrotum. Ta-da!

The second important consideration is this. Would you want a hairy vagina? Now, when I pose that question, I am not discussing pubic hair. Some of us girls want our love mounds  to be baby butt smooth, while others prefer the untamed, Amazon jungle look. Are you a landing strip kind of chick?  On Valentine's Day, do you sculpt a heart and dye everything pink? Does the carpet match the drapes? It's all good. You do you.

No, when I mention the hairy vagina, I'm talking about the inside. You know - the actual vagina, and not the vulva or labia on the outside. That's not a very comfortable or healthy aesthetic to consider. And, as I said above, during vaginoplasty, the new vagina is created using the wonderfully hairy skin of a person's pubic area. Sooooooooooo, what does any surgery seeking transwoman (like myself) do to prevent such a thing? We have our secret gardens denuded, that's what!

Not dissimilar to a napalm attack in the Vietnam War, when US war planes would leave the Vietnamese jungle totally barren, My hair removal tech goes down, er... focuses her laser on my palace of pleasure and sends all those pesky hairs to pubic hair heaven. Sounds like fun, huh?

Actually, my person was wonderful. She made me feel incredibly comfortable in a potentially embarrassing situation. Of course, it wasn't her first rodeo, as she has had other transgender clients. (Not to mention the large number of permanent Brazilians she has done)(The procedure - not the people). The feeling itself is that of a pin prick. And by administering a little bit of lidocaine to the affected area beforehand, the pain is quite manageable. The biggest challenge, by far, is getting used to the idea, conceptually. You know, the inevitable thought of "You wanna do what, where?!"

I survived, but I swear, you can't make this sh*t up. Until next time.