Number 49

Anti-Abortion / Pro-Choice

In a search for common ground where an intelligent conversation about abortion might occur, I offer the following thought: Nobody likes abortion. I doubt strongly that any woman who has ever found herself  unexpectedly pregnant has thought, "Hurray, I'm so excited. Now I can have an abortion." And, once we all agree that nobody likes abortions, maybe we can all work together to have as few of them as possible. Fewer abortions is a good thing, right?

Now I am fully aware that all those right-wing politicians currently straining their shoulders while they pat themselves on their backs will exclaim, "NO, nothing less than a total ban on all abortions is acceptable!!" But they are mistaken if they believe their actions will accomplish their stated goals. As long as there is fucking, there will be unplanned pregnancies. They'll just drive abortion procedures underground, where it is inherently less safe for everyone involved. I suppose when a few women die because of this, they'll exclaim that the sluts got what they deserved.

In the land where rational people dwell, however, we can all agree that fewer abortions is a good thing.

Personally, I'm against abortion. If either of my daughters came to me with news of an unplanned pregnancy and they wanted my counsel, I would encourage them to see the pregnancy through. As a parent myself, I'm fully aware of how such a course of action would change their lives, but that is the way I feel. However, I would support my child and her baby to the best of my ability fully accepting that my life would change a great deal, too.

But, on the other hand, if my child still felt that the best option was to end the pregnancy, I would continue to support her. If it came to it, I'd go along with her. Because here's the thing. My daughters were raised to think of intercourse as more than a recreational activity without consequence. Their mother and I had those uncomfortable discussions with them. While we encouraged them away from engaging in sexual activities during their teen years, we also made sure that they had real facts  about sex, and knew how to protect themselves if that was the choice they made. And that is the key. Documented studies demonstrate over and over that realistic sex education reduces unplanned pregnancies.

Abortion has always seemed to me to be the ultimate 'close the barn door after the horses have left' issue. If you want there to be less abortions, wouldn't it be smart to keep the unplanned pregnancies from happening in the first place? And the best way for that to happen is to ensure that young people (males, too, please) know the real facts. It might also be smart if our culture stops treating intercourse as casually as it does.

We all want less abortions. And there is a small part of me that appreciates the fervor of the people who protest against abortion rights (in legal ways). But when the social conservatives also try to police sex education by championing 'abstinence only' sex education programs, (a contradiction in terms, if I've ever heard one), a couple of things become abundantly clear. (1) They're delusional, and (2) They're more interested in controlling the behavior of others than the sanctity of life. If that wasn't the fact, all these bills would be full of language on how mother and child would be supported by the state after the birth takes place.

One final thought. I've been responsible for three pregnancies in my lifetime (Rebecca had a miscarriage, at one point). I observed what a mother's body goes through during that time. It is extraordinary. I was right there the whole way, and I still don't know what it feels like to have morning sickness, feel the baby kick, etc., etc., etc. It's all intensely personal and a blanket prohibition against abortion makes me nervous. No one is omnipotent enough to render judgement on every unplanned pregnancy. As much as our country claims to venerate individual freedoms it seems that deciding on something as personal as an abortion needs to be left to the person who is pregnant. If you don't like abortion, don't get one.