Number 66

Female Realities

A couple of things happened recently, and I found myself silently thinking "welcome to the world of women, Nora." I thought I'd mention them, along with a few other things that came to mind.

1. I had a mammogram last week. My dysphoria spiked a bit, as I was worried about being perceived as an interloper in a uniquely female centric world. But here's the truth: I'm a woman, I have breast tissue, and a family history of breast cancer. In truth, my nurse/technician was wonderful (go nurses!) and immediately put me at ease. While I was in the changing stall, I noticed a number of pink band-aids in the the small trash receptacle. "What's with those - do they take a blood sample, too?" (Note to any men reading this: All the women are laughing at me right now.) Turns out they aren't band-aids, but adhesive strips with a small metal 'bb' in the middle. These are placed over the nipples to help orient the mammogram's image. The things you learn! Anyway my results were positive, which is to say, negative. I do have 'dense' breast tissue, which apparently means I need to be slightly more vigilant than if I did not. The heated robes were a nice touch.

2. I carved the absolute hell out of my ankle shaving the other day. Now, I have nicked myself plenty, and even cut my legs a few times. This time, however, I almost fainted from blood loss. I thought I was going to have to call 911 and have an emergency skin graft placed over the wound. And the only f*cking towels in the bathroom were white.

3. Speaking of blood, in the last month I have participated in a handful of conversations with other women about menstruation. Did I say "participated?" What I meant to say was, I listened quietly while the other women discussed their periods.

Small Break to Discuss My Old Life: Now, all-in-all, I think I was pretty chill about this whole topic. I wasn't like my brother (love 'ya, Bart), who brought home frozen peas when my sister-in-law wrote down "pads." I knew what products my wife used, and had no problem shopping for her if need be. With my two daughters, I didn't go out of my way to have 'period' discussions with them, but again, I could ask if they needed anything and shop for them, if necessary. I knew what was up when the heating pad came out. In the female centric world of elementary education the topic of menstruation occasionally came up (especially among fourth and fifth grade teachers, if you catch my meaning); but it wasn't like I went around seeking conversations on the subject.

OK, let's continue. (Note to any women reading this: Men often wonder what women talk about when there are no men around. Most men won't admit this, but they do. It is my experience that men believe women are mostly talking about sexy lingerie, child-birth, and periods. How disappointed the would be if they knew the truth: Except for less sports, it's mostly the same mundane shit they talk about.) The significance of these recent, matter-of-fact conversations, is the fact that they happened in front of me. During the ebb and flow of conversation, the topic turned in that direction, and then just as quickly headed somewhere else. You know, normal like. I think what I'm trying to convey is that the other (cis)women were comfortable enough with my presence among them (as another woman), that the conversation followed its natural course. In a small, but significant way, that's really cool.

4. Seriously, what the f*ck is the deal with the pockets in women's pants? They're as small as Trump's fingers. (I just realized that I usually get at least one Trump zinger per blog entry - I think I'll make that my calling card)

5. The unstoppable gravitational pull as you begin to sit down on the toilet, only to realize halfway down, that the seat has been left up by the previous user. (f*cking men)

6. The wonderful opportunity to be able to express a full range of human emotion. (As opposed to the  self-imposed, buttoned-up, reality of most men; which definitely included me). In many ways, this is the very best thing about my transition: The freedom to express my emotions more fully and honestly. I feel so much more my authentic self!

Until next time.