Number 154

 Trolling Idiots For Fun & Profit

A Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I used to be fluent in Sarcasm. Then I met Rebecca. After many tears on her part and apologies on mine, I slowly lost the skill to speak that particular language. This could have led to a miserable tragedy. I have, in my life, attempted to learn three other foreign languages - French, German, and Hebrew. My rate of success can best be summed up (respectfully), as pathetic, more pathetic, and "Holy shit, that's awful!" Recently, when I stumbled upon the little hobby I wish to tell you about today, I wondered whether or not I'd be able to resurrect my long dormant Sarcasm skills. Fortunately, it only took a little bit of practice in order to regain my former proficiency at using irony to mock or convey contempt. (Let's be honest, I never "completely" abandoned the skills - I just became more circumspect about when I deployed them.)

I can picture all of you wondering the same thing. "Nora, who or what could get you so riled up that you needed to speak Sarcasm again?" Well let me tell you. Donald Trump. "Of course," you all say as you whack your forehead with your hand as if you just remembered you wanted a V-8. (Younger folks ask older folks if you don't understand my dated cultural reference.) The sheer number of things we can blame him for is probably the nicest thing I've ever written about him. In this case I'm referring to the toxic residue he infected so many conservative folks with over the last half decade. The new breed of Republican that came to believe his boorish, narcissistic, and bullying behavior was somehow more worthy of imitation than, you know, adhering to an actual conservative political principle.

This, of course, led to the insurrection that took place at the US Capitol on January 6, 2021. But the absolute nadir of their poisonous sycophancy is best exemplified by the politicians and other Trump defenders that have refused to hold him responsible, both before and after the insurrection, for his cancerous treason. Unfortunately many of these folks are too stupid and/or craven to engage in a serious discussion, so carefully crafted essays based on rationally considered factual evidence that illuminate the errors of their ways usually sail right over their heads. What's left for a girl who writes carefully constructed essays based on rationally considered factual evidence? Sarcasm, of course!

I came to this conclusion after Marjorie Taylor-Greene posted her painfully ignorant, transphobic sign outside her office that stated there were only two genders. She was able to reach this conclusion because she trusted "the science." There was so much ironic stupidity in her sign that I was compelled to respond. But I knew a response that refuted her pathetic belief that actually, you know, reflected what the scientific and medical communities are actually saying about sex and gender would be understood about as well as an infant understands astrophysics. That left one option. I went to her twitter feed and left her the following message: "Dear Margie, Wear a fucking mask, love, the Science" 

Now I am well aware that such a missive would accomplish very little. And I'm sure there are compelling arguments that would counsel me to avoid responding all together. But you know what? I felt a whole lot better after sending her my sophomoric response to her idiocy. Was I being small-minded and petty? Maybe. Was my response about as useful as a fart in a windstorm? Probably. But fuck it - listening to these gaseous windbags spout the most amazing, and frankly dangerously idiotic nonsense day in and day out hurts my soul. If a little bit of sarcasm on my part proves to be a salve on my emotional wounds, then, by golly, I'm going to do it.

To US Representative Chip Roy who, during a hearing on the rise of violence perpetrated against Asian-Americans, felt the need to speak out in support of lynching, (seriously).

"Hey Chip, great job glorifying lynching - a favored tactic of white supremacists everywhere - during a hearing about racially motivated crimes against Asian-American."

To US Senator Ted Cruz (and I'm only choosing one), after he voted against Xavier Becerra to become the new Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services by claiming Becerra was "woefully unqualified."

 "Well, Ted, if there's one thing you're an expert at, 'woefully unqualified' would be it."

To US Representative Lauren Boebert, after she tweeted "the left hates women & I'm their top target."

"Umm... no on both counts, you hubristic nincompoop."

To US Representative Madison Cawthorn, after he complained that President Biden hadn't had a press conference "50+ days" into his administration, without mentioning DT's abysmal treatment of the press. 

"Seriously, Marty, are you sure this is the hill you want to die on?"

And so on. This is a classic good news/bad news situation. The good news is I will never run out of new material upon which to comment. Unfortunately, the bad news exactly the same.