I was telling my story to a group of cis allies this morning when I realized a few things. Before proceeding, however, I need to remind you of one thing. I do not mind telling people about my journey through the gender confirmation process. I feel that I can play a part in helping the at large population better understand what it means to be trans; and that we're not much weirder than everyone else. This is not true of all trans people - please, don't assume that every trans person is open to discussing their own journey.
So anyway, I was yakking with these folks, and answering their questions when I commented that, "In the two years I'd lived as my authentic self, I have not changed the ways in which I go about living my life, and that I have yet to have a negative encounter with someone because of my trans identity."
They were all like "That's great," and "That's so cool." However, at the same time, I became aware of how profound my words were - much beyond their implications of our culture becoming more trans inclusive. They illuminated my privilege. Let me explain:
"Trans women of color: The vast majority of trans people who are attacked or murdered just for living their authentic lives, are women of color. And nobody seems to give a shit."
This is a direct quote from AtRP #103 (my most recent entry). I can't tell you how many times I've been called "brave" for living my truth. Maybe I am, I don't know - I've always felt that a better word is "honest." In my mind, the 'brave' folks are the trans women of color (TWoC), I mentioned above. Almost every single trans person who has been harassed, attacked, or murdered (for being trans) has been been a TWoC. And it happens ALL THE TIME.
It's outside my scope of expertise or knowledge to understand the variety of sociological forces at work to explain why this is. For my purposes today, it only matters that it's true. Weekly, it seems, there's a story about the discovery of another bruised and battered corpse of a TWoC. And though there is a glimmer of hope in our post 'George Floyd' world that things might be changing for TWoC, so often these murders are treated with a shrug of the shoulders (at best); but more often than not, jokes, and a sense of "he" got what "he" deserved. Nobody seems to give a shit.
Including me. That was the discovery I realized inside my words this morning. Listen - I am profoundly affected at the way TWoC are treated - it wounds my soul and leaves me hurt and angry - but what have I actually done about it? Sure, I'm bringing attention to the problem by writing about it - and that's important - but I need to do more.
The next step for me is to acknowledge my privilege. Why am I able to say that I've never had a negative encounter about my trans identity? Regarding my own history as a trans person, maybe it's because of where I live. Maybe it's because I'm older than a lot of the other folks going through gender confirmation. Both of those are solid reasons, but we're kidding ourselves if we deny that my race hasn't played a big part in my good fortune. But that's the sneaky thing about privilege. For those of us that have it, it's often invisible. And that, my friends, is the slippery slope of privilege. Please remain vigilant for its presence in your lives, and use it to make positive changes in our world.
I'll get back to you (soon), because it is important to me that I provide more than lip service when it comes to this issue. Hopefully, I'll have some suggestions on ways to ensure that the holocaust being visited upon my trans sisters of color becomes a thing of the past. Until then.
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