Number 105

Mea Culpa

I was born in 1966. Lyndon Johnson was the US president. The Dow Jones Industrial average finished the year at a robust 785. A new home cost $14,200 and the average yearly income was $6,900. A new car would set you back, $2650, but you could fill the tank with gas that averaged 32¢ a gallon. The strive that would define the end of the 60's began to take hold that year. The number of US troops in Vietnam crossed the 500,000 mark, and whispers wondering about what we were doing over there began to be heard. Women began to push for equal rights, and the on-going search for civil rights became more violent as many of those facing the oppression of racism grew tired of empty promises for change; and stopped turning the other cheek when police trained fire hoses and sicced German Shepherds on them.

In other words, some stuff is way different than it used to be, while some stuff is, sadly, still pretty much the same. Or is it?

Well, let's check things out. Are women still struggling to achieve equality? Yes. Is there still a duplicitous asshole in the White House talking out of both sides of his mouth while spreading lies and misinformation? Uhhh... no comment. Is racism still an issue? Only a small one. (Sarcasm: an ironic or satirical remark. Mainly used to say the opposite of what's true.)

So... nothing's changed? Stuff just got more expensive?

I just can't believe that's true. There has been progress - not enough, for sure - but other than the 'duplicitous asshole in the White House' part, things have been trending in an okay direction. The trouble is that working for social justice is a lot like battling the Hydra from Greek mythology. Every time an issue is successfully handled, it seems that two new issues take its place. Issues that seem so simple from the outside prove themselves to be horribly complex. And that's not even taking into mind stubborn neanderthals who are afraid of any change and/or things they don't understand. But things have, oh so slowly, gotten better since 1966.

Which brings me to my main point. For the 54 years I've been around, I have been terribly complicit in maintaining of the status quo. Rarely, I hope, intentionally; but certainly in unknowing and ignorant ways I have allowed other people to be hurt, insulted, deprived, sullied, tortured and even murdered. I have used derogatory terms to refer to minority groups. I have listened to, laughed at, and retold jokes where the punchline belittled a variety of different ethnic groups or women. In my naivete, and with willful ignorance, I have supported unworthy people and groups. I have been unwilling to admit when my country and/or its leaders not only did not live up to our highest ideals, but perpetrated illegalities against other nations. There have been so many times that I could have, and should have done better. I am one of the reasons why progress has been so slow. I am profoundly sorry.

But each day I try to improve. I have educated myself, and I have become wiser. I will never claim to be perfect, but I'm a lot better than I used to be. I hope you are, too.

Which brings me to my second point. Before George Floyd and BLM; before Covid-19; and even before the #Metoo movement, I deplored the "gotcha" moments in popular culture. You know what I mean: Every time some celebrity did something stupid, the internet would explode with a rapturous orgasm of finger wagging and shame. With delight, we watched as this person squirmed through an awkward apology, only to conclude that they should never be forgiven. I have written before on the power of forgiveness, so, no surprise, it makes me crazy that our society seems to be unable to forgive and move on.

Now I am aware that certain "sins" in a person's past are worse than others. And I certainly don't disagree that a person might face consequences for their bad - especially criminal - behavior. What I'm talking about here are the sins of so many of us who made ignorant, stupid decisions because we weren't yet aware enough, weren't educated enough, weren't "woke" enough, to know we were being assholes, and that our actions were hurtful, or that they helped perpetuate systemic societal problems.

So, "mea culpa." And while it important to acknowledge, apologize, and make amends when necessary, for past bad behavior, it is also important not to dwell there. A better future for all of us lies ahead - let's get on our way. I was blessed to hear South African bishop Desmond Tutu give the commencement address at Oberlin College back in 1987. Apartheid had yet to be dismantled, and he was discussing how the problem needed to be solved. I still get a shiver down my spine as I recall the words he spoke that day: "We will not solve this problem separated from one another - we will do it together." Amen.