Number 160

A Blessing of Dependence  

I just returned home from being in the hospital for a week recovering from major surgery. As a person who has been blessed with excellent health almost my entire life, it was quite a shock, and very humbling to all of a sudden need other people to look after me. Also, it has never been in my nature to ask for assistance (especially at times when I probably should have!); perhaps sub-consciously feeling that I wasn't worthy of the help. During this last week, though, it didn't matter what fourth rate philosophical ideologies underpinned my tendencies towards looking after myself - if I was going to successfully recover, I had to become dependent on a whole group of strangers - Stat. ("stat" is hospital lingo I picked up during my stay - it means quickly. The more you know.)

I'm mainly talking about nurses, and other allied staff here, but not exclusively. There were occupational therapists, physical therapists, food workers, custodial staff, and even a few doctors who each had moments that made my stay just a little bit easier for the assistance they each extended to me. The only thing they all had in common were the masks they all wore. There were many different skin colors, accents, and nations of origin. I'm also willing to guess that these folks came from a variety of faith expressions; as well as sexual and gender identities; but there was no reason for those topics to come up, so they didn't.

Besides the masks, the other thing they all had in common was their dedication, perseverance, and ability to help other people (ie. me), at a point of extraordinary vulnerability while never losing sight of our (i.e my) basic humanity. To be sure, that means they're going to be dealing with a lot of piss, shit, vomit and other detritus that our bodies can exude. "Sure," someone might say, "that's their job - they get paid to do that." And I suppose to a certain extent, that's true - but that only goes so far. If you observe closely - and I did - you'll notice there's an extra little bit of light that surrounds these folks who have discovered they have both the desire and gift to care for other people. To be among the special glow of these people, even for a few short days as a patient was spiritually significant. Truly, I was being cared for by angels that walk among us. To be in a position where I had no choice but to be dependent on these people for those few days was nothing less than a blessing.

The only problem with this revelation is my utter inability to appropriately thank the wonderful staff of Unit 7C at the University of Minnesota Medical Center, East Bank. I owe so many people a level of thanks so profound it hurts my heart that I lack the ability to let them know how deeply I am in their debt.  I can only hope that those people with that little extra bit of light already know. In any event. I must try to use my words...

Dear ones of 7C, I offer up to you words of thanks for the many beautiful and graceful ways you cared for me during the week I was honored to be among you. Thank you.