Number 161

 My Partner

All my life, I've pretty much taken care of myself. It's worth wondering why that is, but far beyond the scope of today's topic, so we'll just leave it at, "all my life I've pretty much taken care of myself." Sure Mom drove me to the dentist when I had my wisdom teeth out. Or maybe somebody would pick me up at an airport if I was flying in for a visit. When Rebecca and I married we certainly engaged in the normal quid pro quo assistances that most healthy couples engage in. When we became parents, we certainly swapped favors with other parents as most parents do, but I never really reached out for help when it was just me, myself , and I. The wisdom of age has made me realize the error of my ways, but once again, that's way beyond the scope of today' topic, so we'll just let it be.

Just now, I find myself in, as my British cousins might term, "a spot of bother." My mobility has been vastly limited, I tire easily, and I can't drive myself anywhere. I'm a little bit stuck. Now I have no doubt that if I needed to, I could probably fall back onto old habits and 'solve' my problems all by myself. Actually, that's not true. I have huge doubts about how I could handle any part of the recovery process by myself.

Now, quite by chance, my partner Cindy and I fell in love with each other about four years ago. Quite surprised ourselves, I think it's fair to say. She amazes me. For one thing, she didn't run for the hills when I first told her "Oh, by the way, I have gender dysphoria. I know it means something important - I'm just not sure yet." Well, most of you know how that turned out for me - that I recently completed the most extensive surgical procedure involved in the gender confirmation process. What many of you may not realize is that Cindy has been right beside me the whole way.

I could, if I wished, turn this post into one giant Hallmark card at this point. I could tell you how important her love and support have meant to me. How I couldn't have done this without her. How she has continuously supported me through the many hard times, when it was impossible to imagine a way forward.  About how she's looking after me right now with the deft touch of a nurse, coupled with the care of an angel. About how she'll let me cry on her shoulder one moment, and wipe my nose the next. I could write about her formidable strength of will and character that lets me know I will be okay, and that once I get through this recovery process she still be right there beside me. I could write and let you know blessed I am to have found a love for the ages not just once in my life, but twice. I could brag about how I get to spend the rest of my life with her, but I might embarrass her, and that would be the last thing I would want to do.

For simplicity's sake let's go with, "I have a partner, and that makes me the luckiest girl I know."