Number 75

I Am Her, I Am She, I Am Woman!

**adult language and content warning**

I am suspicious of popular trends. Always have been. Until I get a chance to evaluate a movie, song, or whatever else that has captured the cultural zeitgeist, I am distrustful. This doesn't mean I won't jump on the popularity bandwagon - it just means I'm initially... careful. The world of Harry Potter is a perfect example of this. The year was 1998, and I was working in a second grade classroom. All of a sudden, it seemed as if every student was reading one of the three HP books that had been published at that point. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me. On the other hand, I always tried to read the books that were popular with kids so that I could have conversations with the students about them. In that spirit, I picked up the first book - HP and the Sorcerer's Stone,  - and began reading...

... and was utterly captivated by the third page. I got Rebecca hooked, too. We turned into those wacky adults you would see lined up at the bookstores at midnight when each subsequent book was published. It was, in a word, "magical" (ha-ha, funny, I know). With other supposedly mature adults we had important discussions regarding the: "True nature of the prophecy", "Whether Snape was good or evil," and the all important, "Would Harry survive the final book?" Universal themes such as the importance of friendship; the strength of loving one another; acceptance of those who are different than you; standing up for outsiders, the marginalized, and the bullied; and finally, the importance of doing the right thing - even against impossible odds, provided a backbone that ran throughout the entire series. In the end, the forces of good, though horribly bruised and battered, were victorious. It was all glorious stuff.

And then JK Rowling had to fuck it all up.

Background

I've described gender critical feminists on the blog a few times before. They're commonly called TERFs, (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists). In short, they are a small, but LOUD group known for their extreme hostility towards trans women (but not so much trans men - go figure). They assert only those born with a vagina and XX chromosomes are 'real' women. They view trans women as 'interlopers' who cannot know or represent the 'feminine' experience; and make the lives of cis women less safe. Finally, they also believe that the presence of transgender women (in the world), 'erases' the lives and experiences of cis women in their ongoing struggles against misogyny and oppression.

A lot of what they espouse is transphobic, hateful, and full of logical fallacies and blindspots. But before we go any further, let me explain something that goes to the core of my struggle to understand my gender identity. I don't completely disagree with them. There are many cultural and physical milestones that are quintessentially 'female' that I will never experience. I ruminate on that quite often, and to be honest, it fills me with sadness and longing. But I've come to realize that 'sadness and longing' is a very slippery slope. When I talk about feelings of 'missing out,' I'm making a huge assumption that the milestones I'm referring to were experienced exactly the same way by every single cis woman. Such a notion is patently absurd. Which brings us to a huge philosophical mistake these TERFs make when they assume there is only one, ubiquitous 'female experience' that disqualifies trans women from being considered authentically female. Yes, there are "girl things" I missed out on, but that's only because the path I'm on, uniquely my own, is a little bit different than most women. That doesn't make it wrong, though...

Back to the Present

Maya Forstater is a tax expert from Britain. She is also a TERF. She had a job at the Center for Global Development until recently. When her contract had run it's course, she was not re-appointed. She believed this occurred because of her vocal opposition towards transgender people and their, (well, our) desire for equal protection under the law. She was undoubtedly correct. Her problem, however, was that her "vocal opposition" created a hostile work environment for any trans people (and others), she came into contact with - she had a long history of abrasive behavior in the work setting specific to her personal believes vis a vis the rights of transgender people. She pursued satisfaction through the courts, and it became a bit of a cause celebre in Britain. Was her freedom of speech an absolute right or not? (See #76 for a full description of her comments, tweets, etc.)

On December 18, 2019, the court dismissed her claim. The ruling against her outlined her extensive history of transphobic remarks, and found that she "is absolutist in her view of sex and... will refer to a person by the sex she considered appropriate even if it violates [the person's] dignity and/or creates an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment. The approach is not worthy of respect in a democratic society... If a [male to female transgender] person has transitioned from male to female and has a Gender Recognition Certificate that person is legally a woman. That is not something that the Claimant is entitled to ignore."

You might be wondering what it was about Ms. Forstater's behavior that was considered so offensive. Quite simply, she referred to trans people by intentionally using the wrong pronouns. Doesn't sound like such a big deal, does it? Let me digress...

A Crucially Vital, Really, Really Important Point I Need To Make

It really fucking hurts to get misgendered - even when there is no ill intent on the part of the speaker. As a trans person, I have worked so damn hard to get to where I am at - emotionally, legally, and physically. And I know it might not make sense to those of you who aren't gender dysphoric (ie. most of you), but one little fucking pronoun really can take a toll and leave an emotional scar.

Listen, I don't have to be Black to know that it hurts to be called a n*****.  I don't have to be a gay man to know it hurts to be called a f*****. I don't have to be Jewish, or Hispanic, or Aisian, or whatever ethnic, religious, or societal group you want to mention to know that it hurts to be disrespected and insulted. And neither do any of you. More importantly, we all know better than to use that kind of language when referring to others. All I'm asking of you, my audience, is to realize that misgendering a trans person is tantamount to any other offensive term used to describe any group of people.

So, yeah, it was kind of a big deal that Ms. Forstater continued to belligerently and intentionally use the wrong pronoun when referencing her trans colleagues.

Where JK Went Wrong

With a hashtag and a tweet expressing support for Ms. Forstater, JK Rowling broke my heart when she wrote the following:

"Dress however you please. Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who'll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?"

Sigh.

Ok. Let's take this sucker apart, one sentence at a time.

1. Being a trans woman, and coming to terms with it, goes far, far beyond being able to chose from a wider variety of clothing. I mean, it's nice and all; but if it was just about the clothes, we'd be satisfied with occasionally crossdressing. In truth, as I'm writing this, I'm wearing blue jeans and a green shirt. An outfit that I might have worn in my old life.
2. Thank you Ms. Rowling. I will call myself whatever I like - is it too much that you call me that, too?
3. This line is especially ignorant and offensive. It's shocking that a woman of Ms. Rowling's intellect doesn't understand it. Being trans has NOTHING to do with sexual intercourse!
4. Again, thank you. Of course to "live [my] best life in peace and security," I need to transition so that I can finally reconcile my body and soul. (And hope that others, like oh, say, you and Ms. Forstater will respect that)
5. She was not forced out of her job because of her opinions. She lost her job because of the manner in which she expressed her opinions.

How could the person who crafted such a wonderful story where one of the primary themes is learning to accept and value the differences among all people fail so spectacularly when it came to recognizing me? Laugh at me, if you will, but it hurt a lot to realize that I would have gotten "chucked out of Hogwarts on my arse" as soon as I arrived just for being the person God made me to be.

Addendum

While were at it:

6. Claiming that trans women in bathrooms, locker rooms, prisons, etc. is harmful to cis women is dubious at best. I have destroyed this argument a few times. (see #68)

7. I come to womanhood with nary an eraser in sight. As a trans woman, I have no desire to "erase" the experiences and struggles of the women that have come before me. I'm pretty sure that most of my trans sisters feel the same way. We're not trying to take over the clubhouse - we just want to be invited in.

8. As I said earlier - there is no such thing as one, universal 'female' experience. To claim that there is, and that you alone get to define it demonstrates a hubris that Trump would aspire to.

9. Anytime your allies are religious conservatives, you need to reevaluate your thoughts and opinions.

10. The "what you are at birth is what you are" argument is really stupid. Surely, if a child is born with a hearing impairment that can fixed with surgery, you wouldn't argue against it. What about a cleft palate, or spina bifida, or some other disease or malady? Only insane people would argue against medical intervention.